Eli Wretch


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Eli Wretch


Date of Death: 11/9/73

Favorite Snack: Squirrel jerky

Favorite Color: Axel grease brown

Kills Time By: Playing road-kill bingo

Hobbies: Warning people about stuff, tinkering with machines

Favorite Scent: Truck stop bathrooms

Dream Occupation: Greeting card writer

Road Map: Spent his days wedged on a dusty dashboard viewing the world through a muddy windshield.

Favorite Meal: Dump Rat Stew

Product Description
Eli was a last minute gift purchased at a highway rest stop by a trucker for his son, another empty gesture in a lifetime full of forgotten birthdays. When the trucker finally deserted his family, Eli became a painful reminder of a father, who was never there. The boy threw him out.

At first Eli kept his distance from the other bears, but over time became a part of the group. He’s still a bit of an outsider though. His constant advice giving makes him feel more like a parent or old uncle than just one of the bears. At times when this hillbilly Confucius offers his homespun insight, it leaves the recipient more confused than before. But his intentions are genuine. Deep down this bear wants to be the father his former owner deserved.

Eli’s nearly as brilliant as Hester, though not in a book smart kind of way. With enough time this master engineer could make anything. He is the go to bear on problems where something needs to be built. Eli’s the MacGyver of the dump.
Additional Information

Additional Information

Collections Teddy Scares
Material Sterling Silver

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