The Walrus (Retired)
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things -- of shoes, and ships, and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings -- and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings." The Walrus was speaking, of course, to a group of tender, young oysters that he had coaxed from their comfortable and safe oyster bed with the promise of adventure. Silly oysters! Couldn't they see that the sophisticated, but sly, gentleman Walrus was hiding a sharp oyster knife behind his handkerchief? Sir Walrus had no intention of discussing "many things" -- winged piglets or otherwise -- instead, with a side of bread and butter and a generous seasoning of vinegar and pepper, the hungry Walrus quickly gobbled every fat and gullible little mollusk.